A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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