She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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