meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
50% drunk capacity currently
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
