Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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