They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
