Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
