This dress was meant to end up on your floor
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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