Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
