True but thats because hes a fetus.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
