my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
