I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
