haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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