Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
