Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
