Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
