I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
