I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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