I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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