Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
