I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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