just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
