Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
