If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
