Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
