Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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