Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Randomize
