He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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