I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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