Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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