I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
