I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
