You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
