i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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