Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
