I want to have your abortion
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
