Buhtt sex?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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