Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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