A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
