I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Randomize
