Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
