Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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