Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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