Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
