if i can run in heels then i can drive
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
