I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
