you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
