in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
