lets start a swedish sibling band together
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
