Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
