this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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